The Story of Abrianna
It all started when I met Raydell Grissom Jr. I had been starting my first year of
high school at Durango and I was sitting in the gym when a girl comes and sits
next to me. We started talking and immediately we became friends. Her name was
Melissa and she was very kind to me. One day during lunch I was sitting by
myself when Melissa came over to me and invited me to join her and her friends.
I was pretty shy and antisocial, and at the moment she was the only friend I
had. So I followed her over to her group of friends and she introduced me to all
of them. Most of them were boys and they were all older than me. One of those
boys happened to be Raydell but he went by Ray. He was about my height with dark
colored skin and dark brown eyes. At first I didn’t really notice him and rarely
even talked to him. At that time I liked this other guy named Sam and I was
always flirting with him. Then during my sophmore year Ray and I started to talk more and get to
know each other. I realized he lived in my neighborhood and rode my bus.
One day I was at the activity center working on one of my stories when Ray came in.
We started talking and he seemed like a pretty cool guy. We started hanging out
at the activity center and one day he asked to walk me home and I said yes. We
walked together to my house and we just talked and when we got there we hung out
for a little in front of my house and then we said goodbye. I turned to go up
the stairs when he stopped me. He asked me out and I said yes and we started
dating. Things were a little awkward at first because we both were nervous but
things started to get less awkward as time went on. A few months after we
started dating we started having sex and he was my first so I was nervous. We
didn’t use protection and I was a little scared about getting pregnant but I
didn’t think that it would happen to me and for a while it didn’t. We dated on
and off for about a year and a couple months but towards the middle things
started to get bad and I just couldn’t stand to be around him. It was hard for
me to break up with him but finally one day I just did it, and I felt so much
better.
One day I noticed that I was missing my period. At first I just shrugged it off as
nothing but when my period didn’t come the next month I started to get worried.
I looked up symptoms of pregnancy on the internet and I saw that missing my
period was one of the symptoms but I didn’t have any of the other symptoms. I
assumed it was something else but as time went by I started to get more and more
worried so I started talking to a couple of friends about my worries. I was
scared to tell my mom because I knew she would be disappointed and I also didn’t
want to believe I was pregnant. A part of me knew I was pregnant but I pushed
those thoughts away and told myself that I wasn’t pregnant. I went and told my
sister and she told me to go get a pregnancy test but I didn’t have any money to
buy one and if I asked my mom for money she would have been suspicious.
I came out of my room and my mom says, “Is there something you need to tell
me?”Right then I was scared and I knew that she knew.
“When were you planning on telling me you were pregnant?” she asked. “I don’t know if
I am for sure,” I replied.
My mom gave my sisters money and told them to go buy two pregnancy tests just to be
sure. My sisters left and came back a half hour later and we all went into the
bathroom. I opened up the first pregnancy test and I peed in a cup and poured it
on the pregnancy tester. As I waited my heart was pounding a mile a minute, and
I was desperately hoping I wasn’t pregnant. Unfortunately it came out positive.
We opened the next pregnancy test and repeated the same process and it also came
back out positive. As soon as it was confirmed that I was pregnant I was
overwhelmed with many emotions such as shock, disbelief, sadness, anger with
myself, and most of all fear.
My mom was disappointed especially since I didn’t tell her myself and she had to
find out from someone else. Plus she didn’t want me to make the same mistake she
did, and it hurt her that I did. She went and called my dad and he was not happy
either. The news quickly spread to the rest of my family and I got multiple
phone calls. Every time I talked
to somebody I would start crying and I was just overwhelmed with sadness for
what I did. My grandma yelled at me and my other family members told me nicely
that they were disappointed but they also asked me what I planned to do and gave
me advice. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do. All I could think was
that this wasn’t really happening, and I was in some horrible dream. I didn’t
want to believe I was pregnant and I cried so much that day, way more than I
have ever cried in my life. I knew that I was not ready to be a mom, and it was
all just overwhelming to me.
I knew that the next thing I had to do was call Ray and I was dreading that. I had
just recently broke up with him and I wanted nothing to do with him. Also I was
afraid of how he would react but I knew that he needed to know. My mom and
sisters left the bathroom and I called him. When he answered I took a deep
breath and told him. He was surprised and he didn’t believe me at first. As soon
as he realized I wasn’t lying he was outraged and told me I should get rid of
it. At that time I was so scared that I decided that maybe I should get an
abortion because I knew I was not ready to be a mom. I didn’t have the maturity
to be a mom and I just couldn’t handle it at such a young age. I was only 17
years old, and I was not ready to grow up yet but I knew that I needed to.
I told my mom that I wanted to get an abortion but she told me that I should keep
the baby and so did my sisters. All of my family encouraged me to keep the baby
because they were all against abortion but they knew it was my decision. I told
them I wanted to get an abortion and my mom scheduled an appointment. She knew
it would cost money and she told me that Ray would need to pay half of the cost
since this is his child too. At first he was reluctant to pay but then he
decided he would but at the last minute I decided to keep the baby. I told Ray
and he was upset but it wasn’t up to him so he just had to deal with it.
My mom told me that it would probably be best to move to Colorado and live with my
grandparents because my mom was taking care of me and my sisters by herself
since her and my stepdad separated, and she was struggling to buy enough food
for us and pay the bills. She couldn’t handle taking care of another kid and she
wanted to do what was best for me and my baby. My grandparents were together and
they both worked and made a good amount of money so she knew they would be able
to take care of me and my baby. We were supposed to go out to Colorado to see
our grandparents for the summer like we always do and my mom and I decided that
instead of coming back I would stay and live with them. So I finished up my
junior year and packed all my stuff. When it was time to go to Colorado my
sisters and I got on the plane and headed there.
When we got there we hung out with my grandparents and did lots of fun things like
always but I didn’t do too much because I was pregnant. It sucked because there
were things I wanted to do but I couldn’t because I was pregnant and no one
wanted to hurt the baby.
The first few months of my pregnancy I felt just like any other teen. I didn’t feel
pregnant at the time and I didn’t have any morning sickness so things were good. My body didn’t change very much in the first few months. My stomach still looked normal and I didn’t feel any
different physically. Also, the first few months I was in denial of being
pregnant and I tried my best not to think about it or talk about it. When I went
to go get my first ultra sound I saw the baby in my stomach and I knew that I
really was pregnant and I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.
When I was in the 3-6 month range my stomach started to get bigger and it started to
become more noticeable. I started to get more tired, and I had to go to the
bathroom a lot more than normal. I would have leg cramps when I woke up and my
back would hurt. I also started to get really dehydrated so I had to drink lots
and lots of water. I slowly started to accept the fact of being pregnant but I
was still a little insecure so I wore lose clothing to try and hide my stomach.
When I was about six months I could feel Abrianna moving around and kicking me,
and it felt really weird to me. I would also start having negative thoughts, and
I would sit in my room and cry. I
went and got my next ultra sound and I found out that the baby was a girl and I
was happy because I wanted a girl.
In the final trimester of my pregnancy I was really big and there was no way I
could hide it. I could feel her pushing on my bladder, and literally every few
minutes I would have to go to the bathroom. I felt so fat and I just wanted her
out of me already. As I got closer and closer to having the baby I started to
get more and more scared about the birth. I have heard of how painful it can be
and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I also started to have second thoughts about
keeping the baby. I knew it was too late for an abortion so the only thing left
for me to do was put her up for adoption. I didn’t think I was really mom
material and I figured someone else would do a much better job than me. I talked
to my grandparents about it as well as the teachers at school and I brainstormed
the pros and cons of keeping the baby and giving her up for adoption. I even
went and saw a councilor about it and she told me to keep the baby first, and
then if it’s too hard for you then give her up for adoption. I thought about it,
and I realized that it seemed like a pretty good idea.
As November came around, I started to get nervous. I knew that she could come at
any time. She could come early or she could come late, it was all up to my body.
I started to get contractions and I was slowly dilating but my water didn’t
break so I assumed it wasn’t time yet. Finally it came time for my next
doctor’s appointment and my grandpa took me there. The doctor checked me out,
and she told me I was five centimeters dilated, and she sent me to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital and one of the nurses sent me to the birthing room and I
changed into one of the gowns. For the first few hours at the hospital I felt
fine, I moved and walked around without any trouble. My water still didn’t break
so they finally had to break it for me and things turned intense after that. The
pain and contractions started to come and it hurt like hell. I tried going into
the bathtub but the pain was still there. April, who was my birthing coach
stayed with me and helped me to breathe and relax. The pain was unbearable and I
just wanted it to stop. I asked for an epidural but the nurse said that I was
dilating too fast so it wouldn’t have helped me. I finally got out of the tub
and I went and stood over the bed. I was in the final stage before I had to push
and the pain was excruciating. I started screaming every time the contractions
came and I would squat and move my hips while April told me to breathe. When the
contractions would stop I felt so relieved but as soon as the contractions came
back I tensed and screamed with pain.
When it was finally time to push I climbed onto the bed and started pushing. It hurt
to push but it was way better than the contractions. When her head started to
come up I brought my fingers down and I could feel her head coming out of me. I
pushed and pushed and when she came out they put her on my chest and
immediately, I fell in love. I stayed in the hospital for a few days and then I
was finally allowed to go home. Abrianna was nice and healthy, so I was happy
about that.
After she was born it was hard on me at first but slowly it started getting easier. I
learned a valuable lesson, which is to always use protection so that you don’t
end up pregnant when you’re not ready to have a baby. I have also learned just
how hard being a mother can be but it is all worth it in the end.
high school at Durango and I was sitting in the gym when a girl comes and sits
next to me. We started talking and immediately we became friends. Her name was
Melissa and she was very kind to me. One day during lunch I was sitting by
myself when Melissa came over to me and invited me to join her and her friends.
I was pretty shy and antisocial, and at the moment she was the only friend I
had. So I followed her over to her group of friends and she introduced me to all
of them. Most of them were boys and they were all older than me. One of those
boys happened to be Raydell but he went by Ray. He was about my height with dark
colored skin and dark brown eyes. At first I didn’t really notice him and rarely
even talked to him. At that time I liked this other guy named Sam and I was
always flirting with him. Then during my sophmore year Ray and I started to talk more and get to
know each other. I realized he lived in my neighborhood and rode my bus.
One day I was at the activity center working on one of my stories when Ray came in.
We started talking and he seemed like a pretty cool guy. We started hanging out
at the activity center and one day he asked to walk me home and I said yes. We
walked together to my house and we just talked and when we got there we hung out
for a little in front of my house and then we said goodbye. I turned to go up
the stairs when he stopped me. He asked me out and I said yes and we started
dating. Things were a little awkward at first because we both were nervous but
things started to get less awkward as time went on. A few months after we
started dating we started having sex and he was my first so I was nervous. We
didn’t use protection and I was a little scared about getting pregnant but I
didn’t think that it would happen to me and for a while it didn’t. We dated on
and off for about a year and a couple months but towards the middle things
started to get bad and I just couldn’t stand to be around him. It was hard for
me to break up with him but finally one day I just did it, and I felt so much
better.
One day I noticed that I was missing my period. At first I just shrugged it off as
nothing but when my period didn’t come the next month I started to get worried.
I looked up symptoms of pregnancy on the internet and I saw that missing my
period was one of the symptoms but I didn’t have any of the other symptoms. I
assumed it was something else but as time went by I started to get more and more
worried so I started talking to a couple of friends about my worries. I was
scared to tell my mom because I knew she would be disappointed and I also didn’t
want to believe I was pregnant. A part of me knew I was pregnant but I pushed
those thoughts away and told myself that I wasn’t pregnant. I went and told my
sister and she told me to go get a pregnancy test but I didn’t have any money to
buy one and if I asked my mom for money she would have been suspicious.
I came out of my room and my mom says, “Is there something you need to tell
me?”Right then I was scared and I knew that she knew.
“When were you planning on telling me you were pregnant?” she asked. “I don’t know if
I am for sure,” I replied.
My mom gave my sisters money and told them to go buy two pregnancy tests just to be
sure. My sisters left and came back a half hour later and we all went into the
bathroom. I opened up the first pregnancy test and I peed in a cup and poured it
on the pregnancy tester. As I waited my heart was pounding a mile a minute, and
I was desperately hoping I wasn’t pregnant. Unfortunately it came out positive.
We opened the next pregnancy test and repeated the same process and it also came
back out positive. As soon as it was confirmed that I was pregnant I was
overwhelmed with many emotions such as shock, disbelief, sadness, anger with
myself, and most of all fear.
My mom was disappointed especially since I didn’t tell her myself and she had to
find out from someone else. Plus she didn’t want me to make the same mistake she
did, and it hurt her that I did. She went and called my dad and he was not happy
either. The news quickly spread to the rest of my family and I got multiple
phone calls. Every time I talked
to somebody I would start crying and I was just overwhelmed with sadness for
what I did. My grandma yelled at me and my other family members told me nicely
that they were disappointed but they also asked me what I planned to do and gave
me advice. Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to do. All I could think was
that this wasn’t really happening, and I was in some horrible dream. I didn’t
want to believe I was pregnant and I cried so much that day, way more than I
have ever cried in my life. I knew that I was not ready to be a mom, and it was
all just overwhelming to me.
I knew that the next thing I had to do was call Ray and I was dreading that. I had
just recently broke up with him and I wanted nothing to do with him. Also I was
afraid of how he would react but I knew that he needed to know. My mom and
sisters left the bathroom and I called him. When he answered I took a deep
breath and told him. He was surprised and he didn’t believe me at first. As soon
as he realized I wasn’t lying he was outraged and told me I should get rid of
it. At that time I was so scared that I decided that maybe I should get an
abortion because I knew I was not ready to be a mom. I didn’t have the maturity
to be a mom and I just couldn’t handle it at such a young age. I was only 17
years old, and I was not ready to grow up yet but I knew that I needed to.
I told my mom that I wanted to get an abortion but she told me that I should keep
the baby and so did my sisters. All of my family encouraged me to keep the baby
because they were all against abortion but they knew it was my decision. I told
them I wanted to get an abortion and my mom scheduled an appointment. She knew
it would cost money and she told me that Ray would need to pay half of the cost
since this is his child too. At first he was reluctant to pay but then he
decided he would but at the last minute I decided to keep the baby. I told Ray
and he was upset but it wasn’t up to him so he just had to deal with it.
My mom told me that it would probably be best to move to Colorado and live with my
grandparents because my mom was taking care of me and my sisters by herself
since her and my stepdad separated, and she was struggling to buy enough food
for us and pay the bills. She couldn’t handle taking care of another kid and she
wanted to do what was best for me and my baby. My grandparents were together and
they both worked and made a good amount of money so she knew they would be able
to take care of me and my baby. We were supposed to go out to Colorado to see
our grandparents for the summer like we always do and my mom and I decided that
instead of coming back I would stay and live with them. So I finished up my
junior year and packed all my stuff. When it was time to go to Colorado my
sisters and I got on the plane and headed there.
When we got there we hung out with my grandparents and did lots of fun things like
always but I didn’t do too much because I was pregnant. It sucked because there
were things I wanted to do but I couldn’t because I was pregnant and no one
wanted to hurt the baby.
The first few months of my pregnancy I felt just like any other teen. I didn’t feel
pregnant at the time and I didn’t have any morning sickness so things were good. My body didn’t change very much in the first few months. My stomach still looked normal and I didn’t feel any
different physically. Also, the first few months I was in denial of being
pregnant and I tried my best not to think about it or talk about it. When I went
to go get my first ultra sound I saw the baby in my stomach and I knew that I
really was pregnant and I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.
When I was in the 3-6 month range my stomach started to get bigger and it started to
become more noticeable. I started to get more tired, and I had to go to the
bathroom a lot more than normal. I would have leg cramps when I woke up and my
back would hurt. I also started to get really dehydrated so I had to drink lots
and lots of water. I slowly started to accept the fact of being pregnant but I
was still a little insecure so I wore lose clothing to try and hide my stomach.
When I was about six months I could feel Abrianna moving around and kicking me,
and it felt really weird to me. I would also start having negative thoughts, and
I would sit in my room and cry. I
went and got my next ultra sound and I found out that the baby was a girl and I
was happy because I wanted a girl.
In the final trimester of my pregnancy I was really big and there was no way I
could hide it. I could feel her pushing on my bladder, and literally every few
minutes I would have to go to the bathroom. I felt so fat and I just wanted her
out of me already. As I got closer and closer to having the baby I started to
get more and more scared about the birth. I have heard of how painful it can be
and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I also started to have second thoughts about
keeping the baby. I knew it was too late for an abortion so the only thing left
for me to do was put her up for adoption. I didn’t think I was really mom
material and I figured someone else would do a much better job than me. I talked
to my grandparents about it as well as the teachers at school and I brainstormed
the pros and cons of keeping the baby and giving her up for adoption. I even
went and saw a councilor about it and she told me to keep the baby first, and
then if it’s too hard for you then give her up for adoption. I thought about it,
and I realized that it seemed like a pretty good idea.
As November came around, I started to get nervous. I knew that she could come at
any time. She could come early or she could come late, it was all up to my body.
I started to get contractions and I was slowly dilating but my water didn’t
break so I assumed it wasn’t time yet. Finally it came time for my next
doctor’s appointment and my grandpa took me there. The doctor checked me out,
and she told me I was five centimeters dilated, and she sent me to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital and one of the nurses sent me to the birthing room and I
changed into one of the gowns. For the first few hours at the hospital I felt
fine, I moved and walked around without any trouble. My water still didn’t break
so they finally had to break it for me and things turned intense after that. The
pain and contractions started to come and it hurt like hell. I tried going into
the bathtub but the pain was still there. April, who was my birthing coach
stayed with me and helped me to breathe and relax. The pain was unbearable and I
just wanted it to stop. I asked for an epidural but the nurse said that I was
dilating too fast so it wouldn’t have helped me. I finally got out of the tub
and I went and stood over the bed. I was in the final stage before I had to push
and the pain was excruciating. I started screaming every time the contractions
came and I would squat and move my hips while April told me to breathe. When the
contractions would stop I felt so relieved but as soon as the contractions came
back I tensed and screamed with pain.
When it was finally time to push I climbed onto the bed and started pushing. It hurt
to push but it was way better than the contractions. When her head started to
come up I brought my fingers down and I could feel her head coming out of me. I
pushed and pushed and when she came out they put her on my chest and
immediately, I fell in love. I stayed in the hospital for a few days and then I
was finally allowed to go home. Abrianna was nice and healthy, so I was happy
about that.
After she was born it was hard on me at first but slowly it started getting easier. I
learned a valuable lesson, which is to always use protection so that you don’t
end up pregnant when you’re not ready to have a baby. I have also learned just
how hard being a mother can be but it is all worth it in the end.